See you on the other side
by bluecup94
Summary: Sequel to 'Defiance'. How far have the events with Gabriel and their actions ruined Merlin's and Arthur's lives, and their future together? Rubbish at summaries, Merthur Slash! Rated for boy sexiness as of chapter three
1. Chapter 1

**See you on the other side - ****Chapter ****One**

Arthur's P.O.V

We'd been travelling for at least a day. Gabriel's castle still loomed threateningly behind us in the slight distance, as if reminding us of the ordeal we'd been through. My arm throbbed as I looked back once more. I heard Merlin sigh dramatically.

"Please stop looking at it Arthur." Merlin said, his tone pleading. I tore my eyes away from the grey structure and back to the pale face before me.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled. Merlin stopped and came to stand in front of me, I was aware how worried he was for me and it showed on his face. I felt comforted by his hand resting against my face, I closed my eyes at the touch.

"Hey... Don't be silly. I just don't want to have to rethink all those bad memories..." Merlin trailed off and I opened my eyes, his own eyes having clouded over as if lost in some memory deep in his mind. I placed my hand gently on his arm and winced at the pain lancing up my arm at the movement. Merlin shook his head and stared into my eyes, "Is your arm hurting? Would you like me to try and fix it?" I wanted to ask what he had been thinking of but his face had an edge of rigidity to it that scared me slightly, made more prominent by his sharp bone structure. I was, however, intrigued by his offer.

"You can do that?" I inquired, getting excited. Merlin nodded.

"Of course. Now hold still." Merlin placed his hand on the wound and put on a face of concentration. I watched him work in absolute fascination. I was transfixed by Merlin's eyes as he muttered some words of what I supposed was Latin and his eyes flashed a rich golden colour. I could literally feel the skin creeping across my injury and recovering itself. I felt the place where the cut had been, now only a pale scar was left.

"That was amazing!" I breathed, my mouth not quite able to close, "What else can you do?" Merlin smiled ruefully at me, it made my heart rate increase rapidly.

"I can do almost anything." He replied simply. This thought astounded me and I made a mental note to use this to my advantage when we were back at the castle. I stepped closer to him so our bodies were almost touching.

"Can you show me?" I whispered, not even realising how quiet my own voice was. Merlin raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe later." He whispered back, taking a step backwards. I felt a sudden rush of coldness against my front, whether due to the wind or loss of Merlin's presence I wasn't sure. My heartbeat slowed again and I growled at Merlin's sly expression.

"Don't do that to me, moron." I whined. Merlin chuckled.

"That sounds more like the Arthur I know and love!" He replied merrily, before skipping off into the mass of trees with a big grin on his face, I watched him go with a smile on my face, he really was something else...

I had no idea how much ground we were covering, but I was aware it wasn't much. Before long, the light began to fade, the sun sinking slowly behind the cover of trees. I sighed.

"Next clearing we come to, we'll have to stop for the night." Merlin nodded absently in front of me, not evem turning around. I wondered if there was something on his mind or if he was just too busy navigating a route home to pay much attention to anything. I let myself enter into my own reverie for the time being, contemplating how everyone would react to our return, how my father would react... I thought of my future with Merlin, and how we would make it work, would we have to leave again? If we did then we'd have to be more prepared than last time. I wondered whether father had actually bothered to send knights out to look for us or not, if he had would his own knights be among them? I could imagine that they wouldn't have looked very hard, they knew him well enough to know that if he said he didn't want to be found then they should leave him alone... I remembered then that not one person was actually aware of the reason why we'd left. I expected that people had imagined that _I_ was running away, and Merlin was just coming along with me as he always did. How wrong they would be... It angered me to think that people wouldn't know just how important Merlin was, and they'd still keep treating him the same, as if he was dirt, the way I once treated him... I had several successive flashbacks of times when I had said or done horrible things to Merlin without a second thought, and I had actually meant them... All that had changed now of course, but that didn't stop the guilt from surging through my body anyway. I was taken out of my thoughts by bumping into a body in front of me. My eyes focused and landed on the lopsided smile Merlin was giving me, obviously due to our unintended extremely close proximity. I went to step away but Merlin spun round and slipped his arms around my neck to hold me in place. I grinned back at him for his actions. Merlin leaned forward and pulled me into a gentle kiss, his lips folded into mine so naturally that I couldn't help but wonder for the millionth time if this was meant to be. Which after Merlin's explanations of prophecies and dragons didn't seem so stupid any more. I felt a familiar surge of panic.

"Merlin... What if when we get back, father tries to make me find a wife again?" I asked quietly. A shadow of sadness passed across Merlin's eyes before he put on - what I knew was - a forced smile. His hand reached up to stroke my face tenderly.

"Let's not worry about that until we're back in Camelot eh? You never know, that might not be a problem, Uther might have murdered you for running away first..." I couldn't help but laugh weakly.

"I'm thinking the chances are pretty high actually..." I replied with a smile. Merlin smiled back, more genuinely this time.

"So what you're saying is, I'm going to have to save your arse, _yet again_?" I laughed loudly, my voice echoing harshly through the canopy of leaves and sending birds flying overhead.

"I reckon you might... Why have we stopped anyway?" I asked, watching as the last flickers of sunlight died over the treetops. Merlin gestured behind him to a small space devoid of any trees.

"We can stay here for the night. I'll make a fire." I bounced up and down like a child.

"With magic?" I asked, I knew I sounded overexcited but I didn't care, now was my time to be free from restraint. Merlin's eyes danced with mirth.

"Yes, of course with magic... Hardly with brute strength eh?" He held up his skinny arms in a mock strong pose and I laughed.

"Well... I don't know about that, you're a lot stronger than you look..." I ventured seductively. Merlin raised an eyebrow at me.

"If that was your attempt to get me to sleep with you on a forest floor, then it was absolutely futile. Now go and get some twigs." I pouted and slumped off in search of suitable wood for the fire while Merlin turned the other way. I wasn't exactly happy with leaving Merlin alone in the clearing when it was dark but I had no choice, and I knew he could take care of himself, at least for now. I made sure to map my route as I went along so I didn't get lost as we hadn't travelled far enough yet for me to recognise my surroundings. I wasn't about to ask Merlin how exactly he seemed to know where he was going. There were a lot of things that I wasn't sure whether I should ask Merlin or not… I felt sort of like my life had been a lie up to now and I found it weird that until I'd seen Merlin magic I'd never even contemplated how the 'miracles' of Camelot occurred, every few months at that. It was like being asked a question and having no clue and then after being told, you realised it was really easy. Merlin always managed to do something to surprise me… I'd thought he was an idiot, he turned out to be smart. I thought he was unreliable, I now trusted him more than anyone. I thought he was a coward, he'd risked his life for mine numerous times. I thought he was a fool, he hid his magic from me for years. I thought I'd never like him, now I was in love with him. The list kept getting longer! Although I did hope that he didn't have any more tricks up his sleeve to surprise me with. It dawned on me that although I had been close to Merlin for a long while now, neither me or the rest of my knights actually knew all that much about him. I wondered if any of them knew about his magic… And if they didn't, should I tell them? I knew I could trust them but I didn't want them to take advantage of him or feeling a false sense of security. I walked back the way I'd come with a bundle of sticks in my arms. Merlin was sat on a massive log looking exhausted. I quickly dropped the wood in front of him and took him in my arms, he was shivering uncontrollably. I loosened my grip a little to let Merlin 'work his magic' so to speak and his eyes flashed gold before a small fire burned before our eyes. Wait a minute…

"You didn't say any words that time." I commented, I felt silly for being so confused. Merlin smiled, but it didn't meet his eyes.

"I don't always need the words, it depends what I'm doing." He said this in such an offhand manner that I refrained from asking further questions and making myself seem even more stupid.

"I was going to ask… Do any of the other knights or citizens of Camelot know about your magic?" Merlin smiled, as if he had been expecting me to ask for some time.

"Gaius of course knows… Lancelot knows, and that's it, apart from the people in my old village of course." I felt shocked by this.

"Lancelot knows, but Gwen doesn't?…" I couldn't deny that Merlin looked a little uncomfortable and I waited patiently for an answer.

"No… She doesn't. It… never came up." I sighed, but left it at that as I knew forcing him wouldn't do any good. I leant over to give Merlin a chaste kiss on the lips before smiling at him.

"Go on, off to sleep with you. You look so tired, I'll keep watch." Merlin gave a massive yawn.

"Can't I just sleep against you?" He said in his most childish voice. I smiled apologetically and ran a finger down his cheek.

"I'm sorry love, but you know that's not possible. Never know who might come across us." Merlin huffed.

"We're in the middle of a bloody forest." He shot back. I chuckled softly.

"Better safe than sorry." I replied. I felt a tug in my heart, seeing Merlin climb off the log onto a pile of leaves and curl up on himself, falling asleep in minutes. I looked down at his sleeping form and blew him a kiss.

"Goodnight Merlin…"

Merlin's P.O.V

I had no idea how long we'd been walking... I only knew that it wasn't far enough as every time I looked back to Arthur, Gabriel's castle was still very much in view, it was like his vengeance to me for killing him. Well, he deserved it. I turned again to check if Arthur was okay as I knew his arm was in pain and saw him looking back at the castle yet again. He'd been doing that a lot since we'd left and I didn't know why, why did he want to remind himself?

"Please stop looking at it Arthur." I begged him, it wasn't just affecting him any more. Arthur immediately stopped and looked me straight in the eyes, he looked almost haunted and that scared me.

"I'm sorry." His voice sounded quiet and vulnerable, so unlike his usual self. I went to stand in front of him and try and make him feel better by putting my hand to his face where I felt him immediately relax at the touch. It worried me that he was always lagging behind, and his face always looked so blank, I could never tell what he was thinking or feeling. I was left with all the navigation, for which I was glad to have magic to help me. Luckily I'd memorised a spell long ago in which I could hone in on something familiar, in this case the layout of my bedroom, and use it to guide me home.

"Hey... Don't be silly. I just don't want to have to rethink all those bad memories..." I felt like this was for my benefit as much as his… Like if I said it to Arthur then it would come true and I wouldn't have to be reminded either, not just of this time, but of our last encounter... I felt Arthur's hand on my arm and was glad to be distracted before I could truly remember the events that had led me to Gabriel's castle the last. I noticed Arthur wince, which I assumed was pain in his arm and I immediately went into overprotective mode as I so often did with him. I shook my head to clear it before asking him, "Is your arm hurting? Would you like me to try and fix it?" I could see that Arthur wanted to ask what I had been thinking about but I silently begged that he didn't, I wasn't ready to repeat my ordeal just yet, not even to Arthur. I was so grateful that he seemed to get distracted by watching me use magic.

"You can do that?" He asked me, clearly excited by the prospect. I nodded, trying to hide a smile at his cuteness.

"Of course. Now hold still." I put my hand over the wound and focused all my magic into that area, never taking my eyes off what I was doing. I muttered the spell quietly and kept my hand still for a few moments while my magic seeped through my hand and into the wound, I could feel the skin begin to wobble beneath my hand and drew it away slowly, proudly watching my handiwork, it was hardly noticeable now. Arthur touched it in disbelief.

"That was amazing!" Arthur said, his voice shrill and his mouth slightly agape, "What else can you do?" I gave him a superior smile, feeling quite self important for once.

"I can do almost anything." I said casually. I suddenly found Arthur's body extremely close to mine and my breath caught in my throat, I hoped Arthur hadn't noticed. I wondered what his intentions were.

"Can you show me?" Arthur's voice was so low it could be considered conspiratorial. I raised an eyebrow at him as an evil thought entered my head.

"Maybe later." I said just as quietly and I stepped away, showing that I was teasing him. I couldn't help but smirk, I felt this was a little payback for all the times when Arthur had taunted me.

"Don't do that to me, moron." Arthur sounded like a spoilt child, as he so often did because technically he was one. I laughed at his immaturity, Arthur had been so loved up with me that he hadn't mock insulted me in a while. I welcomed it, it reminded me of normality after the past few days of utter madness.

"That sounds more like the Arthur I know and love!" I said happily, and then I walked off into the trees with a definite bounce in my step, as soon as we got moving faster, the sooner we would get back to home, even if our return wouldn't be too welcome at first…

I was more than aware that the sun was slowly disappearing, it would be stupid to try and continue in the dark, no matter how much we wanted to. I heard Arthur sigh and he voiced my concern for me.

"Next clearing we come to, we'll have to stop for the night." I just nodded, showing him that I'd heard. I was trying to concentrate on finding our way back but my mind kept wandering back to Gabriel. To our times together as children, to teens when I noticed him begin to change, and then even further on. The thoughts kept coming back like a plague, the more I wanted them to stop, the stronger they got. I slowly felt myself descend into a foul mood, that man had ruined my life too many times, death shouldn't have been enough for him, he deserved much more, so much more… I took up my time thinking of a million and one different ways I could have tortured Gabriel before I killed him, and I would have done so if I hadn't been so worried about Arthur. Not that I was blaming Arthur… Was I? No. Of course not. I stopped that thought in it's tracks as I came across a clearing. I halted and a few moments later I felt Arthur's body pressed against me from behind. I didn't know if he'd noticed I'd stopped or not, neither did I care. I grinned at Arthur who was looking straight at me now. He looked like he was going to move away from me so I quickly turned and put my arms around his neck to stop him from moving. I quite liked our predicament, intentional or not. Arthur didn't seem to mind too much either apparently as he returned my smile full force for several moments. The way the sunlight played on his golden locks made him look even more irresistible than usual and I immediately pulled him in to a kiss, I knew how much Arthur liked it when I instigated these things, he said it was like a whole new side of me… I would've thought the whole Warlock thing would've been enough by hey! Arthur suddenly pulled away sharply. Not a good sign.

"Merlin... What if when we get back, father tries to make me find a wife again?" I felt a wave of sickness in my stomach, I knew the chances of that were very high, almost inevitable. Thoughts like that had been crossing my mind much too often to be comfortable and it made me want to cry, but I knew I couldn't do that, not now or here. I put on my best reassuring smile and put my hand back on his face softly. I would do my best to placate him for now, but it was slightly comforting to know that he was worrying about this as much as I was. I doubted myself or Arthur would even be able to do anything about it if this was what Uther decided, and not without running away again or causing a big unexplainable commotion. What was Arthur supposed to say against it? 'Oh yeah father, thing is, not only am I in love with a man, but he's also not noble, is my servant, and is a Warlock as well', that would go well.

"Let's not worry about that until we're back in Camelot eh? You never know, that might not be a problem, Uther might have murdered you for running away first..." I was happy that I at least got Arthur to laugh, if only momentarily.

"I'm thinking the chances are pretty high actually..." He said with a smile. I felt a real smile creep across my face involuntarily. It scared me to think that there was actually a part of me that thought it could actually happen. It was a good thing Arthur was his only son in many respects… But it was a bloody nightmare in others, one being the constant overprotection. I was pretty sure Arthur was bored of having everyone fussing over him all the time, he couldn't get away.

"So what you're saying is, I'm going to have to save your arse, _yet again_?" I made sure my voice dripped with sarcasm, and birds actually scattered at how loudly Arthur was laughing. I glowed with pride that I had caused this.

"I reckon you might... Why have we stopped anyway?" I gestured vaguely behind me to the clearing in response to Arthur's question. I wasn't entirely sure what he thought the answer would be, nor how he couldn't just look for himself but I found that with Arthur it was just easier to answer than to protest.

"We can stay here for the night. I'll make a fire." I said matter-of-factly. The excited glow re-entered Arthur's hypnotic eyes.

"With magic?" I refrained from laughing, I knew how much Arthur enjoyed watching my magic and learning about it and I suspected that at the moment he also liked having some freedom so I just let him be. It wasn't my place to ruin that. I wondered how long it would be before my magic was no longer a privilege to him.

"Yes, of course with magic... Hardly with brute strength eh?" I made Arthur laugh again with a phoney strongman pose, my muscles sitting idly and hidden from view on my clenched arms. I liked how Arthur was so comfortable and happy just being in my presence. I knew a lot of people thought I was just annoying and not worth their time and I was so glad that Arthur thought different.

"Well... I don't know about that, you're a lot stronger than you look..." Arthur was trying on his seductive voice and I had to admit, it very nearly worked but I managed to keep a hold of myself and raise an eyebrow. If we were inside the castle somewhere then I knew I wouldn't be able to say no.

"If that was your attempt to get me to sleep with you on a forest floor, then it was absolutely futile. Now go and get some twigs." I left Arthur to sulk and do his job while I went into the clearing and sat to wait. I sincerely hoped that Arthur was 'with it' enough to find his way back… The way he'd been going I'd have to go and find him once he got lost. I thought that perhaps I shouldn't have left him to do it on his own but my tiredness was catching up with me. I hoped he didn't take too long, I hadn't noticed how freezing I was until now, probably made worse by the exhaustion. We travelled so long without a break and we hadn't had food and very little water. I was hoping we'd be able to find our way back to our little clearing, where one of the horses was still tethered and so have a ride the rest of the way, but we wouldn't reach that for a day or so yet. I just wanted to be home. I had no idea how much all of this was affecting Arthur but I assumed it to be a lot, by the vacant look of him most of the time. Only when I was in his arms did he look the least bit alive, and I was guilty that I felt a selfish sense of happiness at this. I was quite surprised that Arthur hadn't taken the time alone to ask me about my magic. I was sure that there was stuff he must want to know, especially as I knew how much he was intrigued by it. When Arthur came back I realised I must look truly awful because he immediately let the wood go in front of me and wrap me in his arms, I could feel myself trembling. I was glad I didn't need to remember a spell to make the fire spring up before us and I watched it for a moment, hypnotising flames licking around each other, curling upwards and back down, casting a warm glow over the earth and leaves on the ground.

"You didn't say any words that time." I gave a tired smile at Arthur's observation, it should've been obvious to me that this would've confused him. I forgot how he was completely oblivious to any and all magic and I had to stop being so arrogant as to think that everyone was in the know. If they were, I probably wouldn't be alive, either that or everyone would be okay with magic as they'd know it wasn't all bad. The ignorance of people really angered me at times.

"I don't always need the words, it depends what I'm doing." I replied. I got the impression that Arthur wanted to delve further, I assumed his own self-proclaimed superiority is what stopped him.

"I was going to ask… Do any of the other knights or citizens of Camelot know about your magic?" I had been wondering when this question had been coming, I wondered if Arthur would feel betrayed or hurt that people knew and hadn't told him. I was so tired but I had to reply.

"Gaius of course knows… Lancelot knows, and that's it, apart from the people in my old village of course." Arthur was quiet for several moments and I wondered what he was thinking, and whether it was good or bad. I hoped he didn't ask why Lancelot knew… I wouldn't be able to explain that away.

"Lancelot knows, but Gwen doesn't?…" Luckily he had phrased it rather indirectly and so I didn't have to explain why Lancelot knew, I only had to say why Gwen didn't. Except I didn't really have an answer for that at all, I had absolutely no idea why I hadn't told Gwen. I knew I could trust her and she wouldn't hate me for it… Is it because I didn't want Morgana knowing? I couldn't be sure so I just made something up.

"No… She doesn't. It… never came up." Oh that was clever. I was relieved that Arthur decided not to pry too much and just gave me a kiss with a smile.

"Go on, off to sleep with you. You look so tired, I'll keep watch." I yawned involuntarily, my eyelids had already started to droop but I felt lonely and cold on my own. I didn't want Arthur keeping watch either, he wasn't in a fit state, but then again I could hardly say I was either. I'd be sure to make it up to him tomorrow.

"Can't I just sleep against you?" I hadn't intended for my voice to be whiny but it had apparently came out that way, I was annoyed with myself. Arthur just gave me a small smile and caressed my cheek, I knew exactly what he'd say anyway so there was no point in my asking.

"I'm sorry love, but you know that's not possible. Never know who might come across us." I couldn't stop the huff escaping my lips, I'd been right though.

"We're in the middle of a bloody forest." Arthur just laughed at my comment and I knew I should just give up. I hated how grumpy being sleepy made me. I could be a right arse.

"Better safe than sorry." I replied. I didn't argue, there was no point so I just laid down across the floor and curled into a foetal position, hoping to stay warm. It didn't matter anyway as it only took a minute or two for my eyelids to close and I drifted into my dreams, falling straight into Arthur's strong arms…

**A/N:**** Hello my pretties! For those of you who have rejoined me from the original fic, welcome back! To those of you who are new to this fic, I suggest you go and read the original story, it's called Defiance, as if you aren't already confused by now, you will be! Right, now to those of you who have returned, you will have noticed some changes. Instead of doing Arthur's and Merlin's viewpoints in separate chapters, they are now both in the same chapter. I hope this doesn't get boring for people but I feel it wouldn't be a sequel without some kind of structure similar to the first! But I also feel that doing it in separate chapters doesn't work too well. This fic is also rated M, there will be smut, be warned. But I will always notify you at the start when this happens. I have rambled enough, review if you wish (pleaseeeee), love to all readers and I hope you enjoy reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**See you on the other side - Chapter Two**

**Disclaimer: ****Okay, so I forgot my disclaimer last time, WHOOPS! Got excited over my new story! But no, I own nothing, not even a life. And that hasn't changed between last chapter and this one =(**

Arthur's P.O.V

My eyes physically stung with the effort of keeping them open all night. I knew an hour or two of sleep probably wouldn't hurt, but I would never risk it, not with Merlin here. I definitely didn't have the heart to wake him and ask to switch. I wouldn't do that to him. Especially as he hadn't moved position once and I could actually hear his teeth chattering despite the fire still blazing. He needed to recover, and I found myself wondering yet again what it was going through his mind that was having such an effect on him. If I asked him I knew he'd just say, 'I want to be home' or something about lack of food or something. I wanted nothing more than to pick him up and cradle him in my lap, but I knew how foolish that idea would be for so many reasons. I stretched and looked around for any sign of the approaching dawn, there appeared to be none. I huffed and stood up, trying to make myself feel a little more awake or trick my brain into thinking I had energy. Arthur didn't know how long it would take to get back to Camelot, he hadn't asked Merlin because he wasn't sure if he even knew. I of course was only assuming that Merlin knew where he was going but I wasn't going to insult him by asking, as I would have done in the months previously. I was angry at myself for thinking like that. No matter how hard I tried to put my treatment of Merlin at the start of his servant days behind me, I couldn't. I thought about it all the damn time, and every single time I felt guilty. And at times I felt the guilt was right, and at others I felt my actions were justified. I wondered how long this was going to go on, for the rest of my life? I couldn't have this constant war every day!

Dawn was still nowhere to be seen. Merlin still hadn't moved. If I hadn't been awake this whole time then I wouldn't even have been sure that time had been moving. I hadn't realised until now just how much I actually missed Camelot. I missed seeing the familiar faces around the castle, laughing and joking with Merlin and the work stuff like training with my knights. Even the little things like going to the library and reading a book in my spare time or something so simple as a bed. I was so used to growing up with all the comforts and luxuries that I couldn't cope without them and had very little appreciation for them until now… Even when I went off to far off places I always had my group of knights and tents and Merlin to cook for us with the food we'd packed. I wanted to laugh at how Merlin had always told me this and I'd always dismissed it as rubbish… Just another symptom of my superiority disease. I wanted to promise myself that when we were back I would change, but I knew that I couldn't, I was too much like my father. While that had it's strong points, there were also a lot of lows… I had a short temper, at times I had little tolerance and before Merlin had proved me wrong, I'd had the same hatred and fear of magic. Was it right for me to have changed my mind so quickly? Merlin was one of many… He had no say over how others used their magic. From what Merlin had said, that was up to me… My rule would bring magic back to Camelot, but is that what I wanted?

Finally after what seemed like an eternity I glimpsed the first flickers of sunlight poke through the trees and prod at mine and Merlin's pale skins. That teamed with the dying embers of the fire from the previous night cast a warm glow around Merlin's small form, he looked so peaceful. I'm pretty sure I must look like the undead but I didn't care for my own health right now. I wanted to get going as soon as possible as I knew Merlin how much Merlin wanted to be home. I knelt down by his side and put my arms around him, picking him up and holding him against my chest. I watched his eyelids flutter open and his big blue eyes peered up at me blearily.

"Morning." I said happily as his face spread into a slow smile.

"Good morning my prince." He replied. I felt a slight flutter in my heart at that greeting and I didn't know why, technically that was factual.

"Feeling better this morning?" I asked, I felt my brows furrow slightly, betraying my worry. Merlin reached a hand up to flatten the creases on my forehead.

"Much better thank you… By the looks of it, the same can't be said for you…" I could hear the frown in his voice, I sighed internally, I was hoping he wouldn't notice or I wouldn't look too bad, "Are you going to be okay to travel all day? We don't have to go if you need to rest." The suggestion was tempting but I'd already made my mind up.

"No, no. Don't worry, I'm fine. Let's get going." I placed Merlin on the floor but still held him for a few moments. I reached my hands up to brush golden leaves out of Merlin's raven black hair. Merlin stared into my eyes.

"We can get going on one condition." He sounded serious, I sighed because I knew what was coming but I knew he wouldn't move until I agreed so I nodded for him to continue, "None of this 'I'm invincible and nothing can phase me' rubbish. If you need to rest, you tell me okay? And we will stop for as long as you need right?" I nodded again but his eyes hardened, "Promise me." There was no way of getting around this and I knew he'd keep me to my promise so I took a deep breath and looked right back at him.

"Yes, I promise Merlin." It was like Merlin's face immediately thawed, the beaming smile was back and his eyes softened into pools of crystal blue.

"Good. Don't even think of trying to defy me either. I know you too well to know when you're lying so… you're screwed basically." I narrowed my eyes and pursed my lips. I leant in so that my mouth was right by his ear.

"I wish." I whispered almost inaudibly. I smiled at the reaction I got, a massive shiver and a giggle.

"Well if you keep on with that voice it might just happen…" He replied, just as quietly. I was surprised that Merlin replied to my advances, as he usually didn't but I wasn't in any way, shape or form complaining. I pulled away slightly to capture Merlin's lips in an intense kiss and I instantly felt Merlin's arms slither around me and rest against the small of my back. I let my hands rest on the jutting bones of Merlin's hips and pull him even closer. My tongue slowly trailed along Merlin's bottom lip and it took only a moment for his mouth to open and lace his tongue with my own. I liked how when I kissed Merlin, I never had to over-think what I was doing like I did with all the girls my father had ever tried to pair me with. I released his tongue and used my own to tickle the roof of his mouth, I felt (rather than heard) his answering moan. Regrettably, I pulled away.

"As much as I hate to admit it, we have to get a move on. Places to go and all that, we don't want to be travelling forever." I said miserably. I saw Merlin look up at me with what I knew was admiration.

"I respect your decision and your selfless act of giving up sex to get us home, Sire." At the use of the name I growled softly and smirked.

"Oh don't you worry, when we get back to Camelot…" Merlin slapped my arm to stop me finishing that sentence in public and my smirk just grew wider. Merlin grinned back helplessly.

"Idiot." He muttered, but even he couldn't deny the blush that crept into his cheeks…

The walk seemed so much more amiable now. Even though we weren't in conversation, we were walking side by side instead of Merlin leading and the silence was comfortable, not awkward. I decided to try and strike up a conversation anyway, just to make time pass more quickly.

"Merlin, I-"

"SHHH!" I felt Merlin's hand covering my mouth and raised an eyebrow. Only then did I know what he was doing. He was looking all around our surroundings but we appeared to be alone, but I could hear it too now. The sound of swords against leaves. Before I could glean where the sound was coming from, everything rushed into action, like life in fast forward. I couldn't immediately count how many men were there as two came straight at me, brandishing long gleaming swords which didn't appear to match their dirty tattered rags of their clothes. Having no weapons I quickly looked around for help, pushing Merlin out of harms way as I did so. I used the momentum from pushing him to forward roll and pick up a large stick in one fluid movement. I now realised there were four of them and I hoped to God that Merlin didn't try and come to help. I had to admit they were quick, two came at me from both sides and I used the stick to jab one hard in the stomach and bring it back round to catch the other in the throat, winding them both. While they were distracted, I swiftly kicked another under the chin and breaking his jaw instantly, reaching a fist out to punch the last in the nose as I did so. I looked to the ground where one of them had dropped their sword and dived for it, getting back up and holding it in front of me expertly and practically begging them to bother us further. They were clearly stupid and very riled as they all turned to me with menacing sneers, advancing on me once more. I nearly laughed aloud, as if I couldn't taken them! The next few minutes were just filled with the constant clang of metal hitting metal, my autopilot taking control in a situation I was so accustomed to. The next thing I registered was my borrowed sword being yanked brutally from my grasp and metal slicing my skin, I looked down at my reddening arm with widened eyes. I took a few steps back and began to panic slightly, I had run out of options. I noticed a flash of gold in the bushes and jumped to the side as an enormous tree branch snapped overhead and came crashing down messily onto our four assailants heads. I looked down at the four crushed bodies with a kind of sick amusement. They didn't stand a chance and against me and-

"Merlin?" I asked tentatively. Said man came strolling out of the bushes straight ahead of me, a satisfied smirk on his face, "Thank you, good work." I commented. Merlin was beaming at me, an unknown emotion swimming in his darkening eyes.

"Speak for yourself, that was amazing. Are you feeling okay?" I was about to ask what he meant when I felt my body sway and saw my wound still gushing blood.

"Ergh, not again. Mind fixing it?" Merlin shook his head with a smile.

"Of course not dear, can't have you fainting on me now can I? I'm not sure I'd be able to carry you all the way back." I would have retorted but the wink he sent my way put my brain into spasms. I sat quietly whilst he yet again focused on healing me. I immediately felt all the pain disappear and the skin looked fresh, unlike the last wound. I frowned.

"How does this one look different to last time?" I asked in confusion. Merlin looked up at me.

"Well this wound's fresh… So it's easier to heal. Plus my magic's stronger now because I rested last night." He replied. I nodded, that was an interesting concept to me. That magical ability depended on how tired you were, Merlin seemed to sense my thoughts, "Magical power can also depend on mood as well… I can show you some books on it when we get back, we'd have to be careful of course but me and Gaius haven't got caught so far!" Merlin seemed so cheerful and I wondered why.

"What's got you so happy?" I asked playfully. Merlin's hand trailed up my arm.

"We're getting closer to home… You're here with me… The sun's shining… What's not to be happy about?" I processed this information for a moment before I fully caught on to what he was saying.

"Wait, what do you mean 'we're getting closer to home'?" I asked, disbelieving I'd heard him correctly. Merlin smiled widely at my reaction.

"I recognise where we are. By midday we'll be back at our little clearing!" Never before had I felt such a rush of mixed emotion. I was excited and happy, but overwhelmed by nervousness and guilt. Merlin's hand touched my arm, "Hey, it'll be okay. Trust me, I'm a little daunted too… We'll get through it together." I had no idea if it was the surge of emotion or what but I felt close to tears. I grabbed the front of Merlin's tunic and pulled him against my chest. The feel of his body in my arms always managed to make me feel better whatever mood I was in. Merlin's arms tightened around my back. I breathed deeply a few times before kissing the top of Merlin's head.

"Come on… We'd better get moving if we want to be back in Camelot by this evening!" Merlin's head unburied itself from my chest and he untangled himself from my arms, placing a lingering kiss on my lips. He leaned close.

"And the sooner we reach Camelot, the sooner we can…" Merlin trailed off with a wink and once again disappeared off through the trees. I growled and flopped down heavily into a pile of leaves, why did he keep doing that? And secondly, why did I like this side of him so much?…

The sun shined brightly directly overhead as we reached our landmark. The clearing looked so beautiful in the golden sunlight and the leaves were swaying gently in the light breeze. I scowled as I thought of the last two times I'd been here. Firstly bringing Harriet here, one of the biggest mistakes of my life, and secondly when Gabriel had met us here, where Merlin trusting him was probably one of the biggest mistakes of _his_ life. I knew from now on I had to keep this place sacred to me and Merlin, or better yet find a whole new clearing that could be just ours from start to finish and not ruined by a multitude of idiots trying to ruin our lives in between. Merlin took no time to look around and strode straight for a tree trunk directly ahead, I followed shortly after. Merlin gave a shout of delight and I peered round the tree to see what he was looking at. His horse was still tethered to the tree, admittedly looking a little worse for wear but still very much alive.

"I think he'll be okay to ride back to Camelot!" Merlin said happily, stroking his horse's mane with a care that only he could possess. I looked at the thinning horse with a frown.

"Are you sure? It wouldn't take that long to walk…" I ventured. Merlin fixed me with a smirk that showed he'd seen right through my ploy. He sauntered up to me and tilted his head to the side.

"Just because you're afraid of getting shouted at by your father, I'd quite like to get home and get it over and done with, thank you very much!" Merlin said teasingly. I put on a look of fake horror.

"I'm not so much as worried about my father, as Morgana and Gwen! They'll use our guts for garters!" I said. Merlin laughed and ran a hand down my face.

"And what a gorgeous garter you will make too! Now come on Mr scaredy pants! I thought the oh-so-brave Arthur Pendragon was up to facing anything!" I smiled and jumped onto the now-untethered horse. I offered my hand down to help Merlin up behind me.

"He is, but only when he has his trusty manservant by his side."…

The feeling of Merlin's arms locked around my waist as we raced back home comforted me and stopped me from feeling so nervous. I felt an almost tangible sense of anticipation as the castle's large stone walls came into view and became larger and larger. So unlike Gabriel's castle in that instead of feeling looming, the closer you got they just felt more comforting, as if enveloping you in a protective hug, but then again maybe I was biased. Merlin's horse galloped through the gates of the kingdom and came to an abrupt halt in front of the palace steps. I daren't look around at the hundreds of gaping faces as the townsfolk received my return. Merlin's arms tightened around me as the thundering voice boomed angrily out from the castle's doors:

"ARTHURRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

Merlin's P.O.V

My slumber carried on in that half-dreaming, half-waking phase for most of the night. I was aware of my surroundings but not-so-much that I could open my eyes. I vaguely registered Arthur pacing close to me before returning to my dream… I was riding through a thick forest, the leaves lusciously green and fresh around me, I could smell pine and fresh water. My horse was black and glossy and I wasn't controlling it, it just knew where to go. I wondered aloud what my destination would be but the horse just neighed as if to assure me that it would be a nice surprise. The birds were chirping and singing merrily all around me and I could now hear the water as well as smell it, soft rushing and waves lapping quietly against a sandy bank. My horse slowed to a trot and I wondered if we had reached our destination. Up ahead was an opening, with gnarled trees knotted together to form a kind of natural archway. The horse halted for me to climb off and I walked through the arch into a large grassy clearing, the canopy of leaves cleared to leave the place drenched in sunlight. Rays bounced off the water and made it sparkle a clear blue. My breath caught in my throat and I looked down and waiting by the river bank is my prince. Arthur turns at the sound off my footsteps and smiles dazzlingly at me, I walk forward and fall into his arms… _His arms_. The image smears and blurs and reappears, much darker than before. I look into the eyes of the person holding me and I see that it is no longer Arthur, it is Gabriel. My breath catches again but this time out of fear. I struggle to free myself but the grasp around me is too strong. I want to cry out but all sound seems to have deserted me. The birds are no longer singing, the water no longer lapping, the sunlight blocked by a covering of dark cloud. A clap of thunder rocks the ground and rain hammers down all around us, drops of rain mixing with the tears streaming down my face. I feel my sobbing body being held down by Gabriel's weight and his hot breath is suddenly at my ear and promises me it'll all be over soon. My voice finds me and I scream for him to go to hell, but he just laughs as his hands trail roughly down my back and settle at the waistband of my trousers, and he replies that he will see me there… My eyes shot open and they took a moment to focus, I went to scream but I heard Arthur's voice, he was muttering something inconsequential to himself and then I remembered, the dream was just a memory…

I noticed a warmth begin to envelope me and a bright yellow showed behind my closed eyelids. I went to wake when I found myself being lifted from the floor and into the familiar strong, protecting arms. So different to the second pair… I slowly let my eyes open.

"Morning." Arthur said, and the action was so normal and comforting that I couldn't help but smile, if only in relief that it was morning and I could push the memories away again.

"Good morning my prince." I didn't know if my voice sounded normal or not but I sure hoped so.

"Feeling better this morning?" Apparently my voice _was_ normal then... I could see Arthur's face crinkling with worry and so I put my hand on his forehead and stroked lightly to make him relax which he did instantly.

"Much better thank you…" I lied with ease, which worried me slightly, "By the looks of it, the same can't be said for you…" He really didn't look well at all. His skin was ghostly pale and dark circles underlined his eyes. He even held himself a little more slumped than his usual straight backed royal stance. If Uther saw him like this he wouldn't be pleased! I wondered whether he'd actually slept at all, "Are you going to be okay to travel all day? We don't have to go if you need to rest." I was already very aware that he wouldn't take the offer no matter how ill he felt.

"No, no. Don't worry, I'm fine. Let's get going." My feet touched the floor as Arthur put me down but he didn't let me go and I focused on the way his arms felt around me and how they signified reality. I watched him for a few moments while he removed the leaves from my hair that I didn't even know where there, it wasn't really on the top of my list of priorities. I had to at least do something to make myself feel a little less guilty about Arthur's state.

"We can get going on one condition." It was a good thing he knew how stubborn I was and how much I cared about him because that meant he actually listened to me which he didn't do often with others, "None of this 'I'm invincible and nothing can phase me' rubbish. If you need to rest, you tell me okay? And we will stop for as long as you need right?" He nodded but I knew he was bluffing, the chances of him actually telling me if he wanted to rest were very minimal and we both knew it, "Promise me." Arthur took a deep breath and looked at me dead in the eye which was his way of showing that he was being honest. I felt warmth spread through me that he would do that for me.

"Yes, I promise Merlin." I relaxed and replaced the smile on my face to show how happy I was that he would promise me that when he wouldn't have given a second thought to anyone else. His knight's training were to blame for that.

"Good. Don't even think of trying to defy me either. I know you too well to know when you're lying so… you're screwed basically." Arthur cut his eyes at me and pursed his lips, leaning dangerously close to me so that his mouth was at my ear. I resisted the urge to shiver as I usually did when his breath was ghosting over my ear. I shoved back the memory of Gabriel's mouth at my ear as it was dredged up unconsciously.

"I wish." I nearly had to strain to listen despite our close proximity. The shiver finally took me over and I laughed like a little girl, I was so glad that no-one was around to see this. Gwen would have it hanging over my head for years! I hoped Arthur was happy was himself. I prayed that I would never do that again but the chances were that Arthur would be able to make me giggle with ease.

"Well if you keep on with that voice it might just happen…" This teasing was payback for what he'd just done. But instead of replying as I was thinking, he pulled me into a burning kiss. I wrapped my arms around Arthur's back and settled into his protective embrace. I didn't care that we were in public as I usually would have because I was just too in need of comfort. Arthur put his hands on my hips and removed all space between us, I nearly panicked. We hadn't gotten this intimate since I'd been reminded of Gabriel's actions when the image of the castle had triggered the suppressed memory. I managed to fight the urge to run or struggle by reminding myself that this was consensual and Arthur wouldn't do anything I didn't want, I loved him. He would ask why though… Arthur's tongue licked along my bottom lip and after deciding I would be okay, I parted my lips and tangled my tongue with his own to try and gain back some sort of control of the situation. Arthur's tongue stroked the roof of my mouth and that was it, an action that was so uniquely Arthur that I relaxed completely and all doubt was gone, an involuntary moan escaped me. Suddenly, Arthur's mouth was gone. I opened my eyes and was glad to find I was disappointed at the loss of contact, that was a good sign.

"As much as I hate to admit it, we have to get a move on. Places to go and all that, we don't want to be travelling forever." It was good to hear that Arthur was upset too but I felt a wave of admiration crash over me at his noble actions.

"I respect your decision and your selfless act of giving up sex to get us home, Sire." Arthur growled softly and his smirk signalled another inappropriate comment.

"Oh don't you worry, when we get back to Camelot…" His smirk only got wider as I slapped him to get him to shut his mouth, it felt so good to just joke around with him like normal. I beamed back at him.

"Idiot." I was annoyed with myself for blushing though and betraying myself…

Neither of us spoke as we walked, and I sort of wished we would to get the chirping of birdsong out of my head. I wanted to be distracted, the silence was a perfect festering ground for old memories to resurface.

"Merlin, I-" Typical that as soon as I get what I want, I hear a noise. At first I thought it might be an animal but I couldn't be sure.

"SHHH!" I covered Arthur's mouth with my hand and strained to listen. The sound of metal sliding along leaves, not an animal then, oh dear... There was a sudden rush of action and bodies jumped from the bushes but I couldn't focus on anything as Arthur immediately shoved me away and I fell into a massive bush and I wanted to go back out to help him but I knew he could handle it, I could always intervene if I needed to so I just leapt into a crouching position and watched the scene unfold from the cover of my hiding place. Arthur rolled and retrieved a heavy stick from the ground. I wasn't sure how Arthur would cope with four huge men all on his own but fighting gave him a sense of purpose and I had to admit, he already had more colour in his cheeks and light in his eyes than he had all morning. I couldn't see what Arthur was doing but I saw four bodies on the floor and a large communal pool of blood, bones had clearly been broken. While they were busy nursing themselves Arthur picked up one of their swords and I silently cheered. It was really wonderful watching Arthur fight, it made me feel excited and more than a little aroused. That was something I'd never noticed before. But it appeared that they hadn't given up just yet, they all turned on him and Arthur held them off with ease. I gasped as the sword was ripped from Arthur's hand and he was caught on the arm, leaving a gaping wound that started gushing blood. I felt a surge of rage run through my blood and immediately I began muttering a spell, my hand outstretched. I looked up through the trees and watched as the branch above our attackers heads broke off and l smiled as it fell on them, effectively crushing them. Arthur was looking down at them too until I heard his small voice:

"Merlin?" He looked relieved to say the least, "Thank you, good work." I felt another surge of arousal as I was reminded of his fighting of moments before. I repressed it.

"Speak for yourself, that was amazing. Are you feeling okay?" Arthur swayed slightly and looked down at his arm, clearly having forgotten it in the throes of victory. I wondered if it hurt or not.

"Ergh, not again. Mind fixing it?" Arthur asking for help? This was a first but I wouldn't deny him anything, I shook my head in amusement.

"Of course not dear, can't have you fainting on me now can I? I'm not sure I'd be able to carry you all the way back." I winked to stop him replying so I could concentrate. When I was finished, Arthur frowned down at his clear skin and I knew what to expect next.

"How does this one look different to last time?" Of course he would be confused by this, thank goodness the explanation was simple.

"Well this wound's fresh… So it's easier to heal. Plus my magic's stronger now because I rested last night." He nodded as if contemplating this and I knew he was deeply interested in what I had to say, "Magical power can also depend on mood as well… I can show you some books on it when we get back, we'd have to be careful of course but me and Gaius haven't got caught so far!"

"What's got you so happy?" His question reminded me of my improved mood due to his fighting's unknown effect on me. I let my hand climb up his arm softly.

"We're getting closer to home… You're here with me… The sun's shining… What's not to be happy about?" I waited for the outburst, I wasn't disappointed.

"Wait, what do you mean 'we're getting closer to home'?" I grinned at him.

"I recognise where we are. By midday we'll be back at our little clearing!" I could see him struggling with this concept so I reached a hand out to comfort him, "Hey, it'll be okay. Trust me, I'm a little daunted too… We'll get through it together." I was really surprised to see tears welling in Arthur's eyes, very rarely had I seen him cry and I didn't know why he was reacting like this. I found myself enveloped in Arthur's arms and was glad to have this little moment, it was as if we were giving each other the strength to carry on and the unspoken promise of support. I tightened my arms, hoping it portrayed my love. I reckoned it did as Arthur took deep breaths and kissed the top of my head.

"Come on… We'd better get moving if we want to be back in Camelot by this evening!" I was glad to have reassured him. I climbed out of Arthur's arms and kissed him slowly. I leaned in to him.

"And the sooner we reach Camelot, the sooner we can…" I left the sentence unfinished and winked before striding off, I loved taunted Arthur. I heard him growl as I walked off and chuckled quietly to myself, oh that was fun…

We reached the clearing and I only realised now how much I now hated this clearing, first Harriet had tainted it (and I still hadn't quite forgiven Arthur for that) and then Gabriel had finished it off and completely derelicted it. I wanted to get away from this place as soon as possible so I went to go and find my horse. I looked around, he was still alive! I felt elation running through me and petted the horse's mane lovingly. I would be sure to give him loads of treats when we got home.

"I think he'll be okay to ride back to Camelot!" Arthur clearly didn't like this idea but I knew he just didn't want to go back and I made sure he knew it.

"Are you sure? It wouldn't take that long to walk…" I smirked and cocked my head, walking straight up to him, I wasn't taking any of this crap.

"Just because you're afraid of getting shouted at by your father, I'd quite like to get home and get it over and done with, thank you very much!" Arthur pretended to look scared at my words, just an undercurrent of real fear beneath the mask.

"I'm not so much as worried about my father, as Morgana and Gwen! They'll use our guts for garters!" I laughed heartily at the prospect of that. I put my hand to his gorgeous face, his skin was always so soft and smooth.

"And what a gorgeous garter you will make too! Now come on Mr scaredy pants! I thought the oh-so-brave Arthur Pendragon was up to facing anything!" I knew Arthur couldn't resist being my knight in shining armour and he climbed straight on my horse and then helped me up. I let my arms slip around his waist.

"He is, but only when he has his trusty manservant by his side." I was glad that Arthur was facing forward and couldn't see my cheeks reddening dramatically at his comment…

I revelled in the feeling of my arms around Arthur, knowing it would be the first and probably only public display of affection that the people of Camelot would see between us. My heart started beating rapidly with excitement as the castle got bigger and bigger in my mind's eye. My horse was doing surprisingly well considering it hadn't eaten or drank for days on end but then again, I supposed we were too. I watched the gawping faces of Camelot's citizens and felt shame and guilt wash over me, and only now did I really feel the fear, my heart beat even faster. I allowed my arms to tighten slightly around Arthur's body and my whole body cringed as the dreaded voice ripped though the air:

"ARTHURRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

**A/N: ****Okay, so this chapter turned out to be a lot longer than I anticipated! I was worried that I wouldn't make 2,000 words =') Well, anyway, I know in 'Defiance' I said you'd never find out what it was that Gabriel did to anger and upset Merlin so much but hey! I lied! Hope you all liked the chapter and wish to review, but if you don't then that's cool… Love to you all as always!**


	3. Chapter 3

**See you on the other side - Chapter Three**

**Disclaimer: ****I still own nothing… But anyway, smut this chapter people… In the middle, and at the end. Also, if you start reading it and wonder what the hell I think I'm doing, I am sorry, you will see by the end of the chapter. I had to try it a different way and this is what happened! Hope you enjoy =)**

Arthur's P.O.V

My body was physically trembling as I stepped down off the horse. I turned to give a small apologetic glance to Merlin for not being able to help him down. He gave me a tiny smile back, which I assumed to be reassuring. The tall figure of my father bore down on me from the top of the steps. He looked even more menacing standing so rigidly and non-moving high above me so I had to tilt my head back to see him. His face looked like it was set in stone. He didn't even take a step towards me, he just narrowed his eyes.

"Hall, now. Both of you." His voice was icy cold and I refrained from shivering at the sheer brutality of the tone. The fact that he had slipped into his 'father' voice instead of his 'king' voice put me on edge. He turned sharply on his heel and strode angrily inside. I could feel the sunlight glaring down on me from above and I felt a bead of sweat break out on my forehead, due to the weather or the thought of what was to come I wasn't sure. I felt like time was standing still, no-one dared move, I couldn't even bring myself to move a limb. Merlin finally broke the frigid atmosphere, moving forward and placing a hand on the top of my arm. It broke me out of my stance and I thanked God for having him in my life yet again. As the villagers began to turn back and carry on with their tasks, I gave one last look to Merlin, and walked inside, my head held high…

"What, on God's earth, did you think you were doing?" My father's voice was dangerously low. I couldn't face looking at him. I could literally hear his breathing to calm himself, "I'll ask you one more time Arthur, why did you leave? Do you not like living here in Camelot? Do you not _like_ having everything done for you? Do you not _appreciate_ what everyone does for you?" I finally looked up and saw my father's nostrils flaring, his eyes were blazing with an untold fury. I didn't have a reply that didn't sound completely lame, and he knew it.

"No, I-"

"DO NOT EVEN TRY TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF ARTHUR PENDRAGON!" I wanted to point out the stupidity of this statement but I decided against it, "Do you have any, ANY, idea just how worried we were? You should have SEEN the look on Morgana's face when she brought the note to me the morning you had left! She was in TEARS. Your knights, no actually no, your _friends_ were completely lost without you. No-one knew if they'd ever see you again, let alone if you were safe! Were you just planning on never returning? Leave Camelot without a king? Did you even plan? You appeared to go without supplies, you look ill! On what planet did it seem like a good idea? Let alone _why_ you left, which no-one appears to know the reason for! It had better be good, or maybe it's not so good considering you've apparently come back. Why is that? Found out how difficult the unprotected world is did you? Or did you just miss the comforts of the castle?" I listened to his tirade without interruption. It wouldn't do well to try and speak, he wanted to belittle me, and it was working. I might as well not even exist with how small I felt and how much I felt I was worth in that moment. My father started pacing in front of his throne.

"And YOU." I felt Merlin's head snap up by my side, I looked up to see my father pointing a finger steadily at him, "What exactly were you playing at? Did you encourage him? I thought you were supposed to be trusted, you are meant to take care of him. It doesn't look like you did a very good job! I bet this was all your idea wasn't it? I should have you killed." Merlin let out a choked sob and I felt the blood in my veins boil and the anger rushed through me and pushed me that one step too far. How dare he.

"Merlin did nothing wrong, don't you dare treat him like that." I kept my voice quiet and steady. I heard Merlin's sharp intake of breath and daren't look at him for fear of what I would see. I kept my gaze locked on my father's.

"Boy, leave the room." Merlin hesitated and I silent begged him to go, "Be glad to have your life, LEAVE." My father roared. Merlin winced, bowed and walked from the room. I let my gaze drop back to the floor and waited for the impending wrath, but I didn't regret my defence of Merlin at all. But now I'd have to watch what I said…

"You dare disobey me in front of a servant?" My father's voice was now even quieter, almost a whisper. I didn't know what to say.

"I apologise father but I had to explain." I said pathetically. My father scoffed.

"And he hasn't got a mouth no?" He replied. My temper flared again.

"Well you weren't giving him a chance! You threatened him with death!" I shouted. Father waved his hand dismissively in response.

"It was an empty threat, he knew I wouldn't have him killed for that. He is too favoured by you and Morgana." I slit my eyes.

"That's funny because I'm pretty certain that Merlin didn't know the threat was empty." My father narrowed his eyes back.

"And why are you so intent on defending a servant?" My heart skipped a beat, I didn't like how my father wouldn't even use his name but I would leave that, that was a whole other debate.

"Because he deserves it. Because I trust him with my life, which is wise seeing as he's saved it enough times. And because he is my friend and I respect him." My father leaned forward towards me in a patronising manner.

"Then perhaps it is time you found some new friends. Now get out of my sight. Don't even think about leaving your room this evening, and take your servant with you." I gritted my teeth to stop the retort from surfacing and spun sharply, not bothering to bow as I didn't feel much like respecting him at that moment. I flung open the doors and caught sight of Merlin waiting nervously down the corridor. I reached my arms out to him but he silently shook his head, inclining his head towards a couple of guards that had clearly come to stand outside the hall now that I had vacated. I nodded stiffly and walked off down the corridor to my chambers, Merlin by my side.

No-one dared speak to me as we travelled through the corridors, whether because they knew how angry I was or because they didn't know if they should I didn't know nor care. A guard was already stationed outside my room, father clearly wasn't taking any chances. I swept into my room and waited for Merlin to enter after me before slamming the door shut forcefully. I looked over to Merlin, he looked afraid and I instantly relaxed, I didn't want to scare him.

"I'm sorry." I said quietly, closing my eyes and looking at the floor. Skinny arms enveloped me and tears sprang up in my eyes. Merlin let me sob quietly in his arms and I didn't make an effort to move. The rest of my pent up anger was washed away with my tears and I was left feeling empty and drained. Merlin's hand stroked gently at my face and I leaned into the careful touch. I needed to feel something, and I knew only Merlin could give me that opportunity. I threw caution to the wind and pulled Merlin towards me, crashing our lips together, my fists balled tightly into his tunic. Merlin's arms locked around my neck and he kissed back with such fervour that I had to assume he needed this as much as I did. The sound of approaching footsteps made me pull away angrily. I stood and punched the wall to my left. Why couldn't people just leave me alone? I just wanted Merlin, in fact needed him, and people couldn't even leave us to ourselves! Merlin stood and moved across the room as a knock resounded on the wooden door. I tried to calm myself and not wince at the pain in my now throbbing hand.

"Come in." I called. I begged for it not to be my father, and it wasn't. It was worse. Morgana strode straight up to me and slapped me hard across the face.

"You-you-you!" Gwen followed her in and put a settling hand on her mistresses shoulder. I put a hand to my smarting cheek and watched horror struck as Merlin got the same treatment.

"Both of you are so STUPID!" She burst out. I ground my teeth together, I wasn't in the mood for this.

"Yes, thank you Morgana, we have been told." I said acidly. Morgana cut her eyes.

"Well, in my opinion, you can't be told enough! So you will sit and listen… SIT!" She ordered when I made no effort to move. I dragged my feet along the floor and plopped down into my usual chair at the head of the table. Morgana turn to Merlin.

"And you as well, sit down." She said strictly. Merlin pulled out a chair to my side and sat expectantly, obeying every command. Morgana could be scary when she was angry. I put a hand to my temple and leaned down on the arm of my chair, I thought I might as well just be quiet and let her get on with it. Gwen kept her distance a few steps behind Morgana, obviously she was also wary of the ward's rage.

"Now, I demand an explanation. Speak up, I want to know why you left. And why you decided to sneak off and not even give a proper goodbye as if we were worth nothing!" Merlin sighed.

"Really, Morgana do we have to do this now?" Morgana's eyes flashed and I felt the urge to step in front of Merlin, but I didn't.

"Yes, _Merlin_, we DO have to do this now. We want answers." Gwen may not have been up at the front but she was still stood with a kind of angry resolution that showed that she wanted to hear it too. I floundered for a feasible answer.

"We wanted to get away from Camelot for a while." I said lamely. I knew I should've taken more time to think up an answer. Morgana's eyebrow rose incredulously.

"If that was the case then why did you come back so soon?" She asked. I blanched.

"We, err, ran into some trouble." My eye's shot to Merlin but he wasn't looking at me, surely he wasn't going to tell them what happened? Morgana also seemed surprised by this reaction.

"What sort of trouble?" She asked suspiciously. Merlin took a deep breath.

"An old," He paused and I peered at him curiously, he gulped heavily, "Um, 'friend' of mine came across us and tried to blackmail us into helping him. We decided it was best to come back to escape him as we know we're safe here." I watched while Merlin distorted the truth, it looked so easy for him, as if he'd had this story planned out. Technically it wasn't too far from the truth… Morgana's set physique thawed and she rushed over, throwing an arm around both of us in the process.

"Oh I'm sorry, are you okay?" I frowned at her reaction but if it got her to leave sooner and stop shouting at us then I'd go with it.

"Yes, yes, we're fine and we're home now. And we'll probably get told off by lots of people over the next few days so you can stop." I said irritably. Morgana sniffed and wiped away an unshed tear.

"I'm sorry, I just missed you both so much, I thought I'd never see you again. We were all so worried." I put an arm around her shoulders and rested my head on hers.

"I know, we're sorry too for doing that to you. It won't happen again." I wondered how true this statement was as I was already considering when we would have to leave again as staying in Camelot just wouldn't work if me and Merlin wanted to stay together. Morgana simply nodded and stood up. Gwen gave a soft smile.

"Come, my lady, let's get you back to your chambers before nightfall." I looked out of the window behind me and noticed the sun going down behind the trees in the distance. I sighed.

"Goodnight ladies, sleep well." Merlin said and they gave a soft wave as they left the room. He turned to me with a smile, "I take it I'm staying the night?" He asked. I smiled back at him.

"As if I'd let you leave." I went to the door to lock it, not wanting to be disturbed when I had my naked manservant asleep with me in my bed. I chuckled quietly to myself at that thought and quickly sobered up. When I turned back round, Merlin's shirt was already off and I stared at his pale flesh hungrily, finally we had a moment to ourselves. Merlin was watching me in amusement and I smiled back at him softly. I didn't want our first moment together since the first time we'd made love tainted by my anger-fuelled lust. I walked up to stand in front of Merlin and trailed my fingers softly down his defined chest, I slipped my arms around his waist and held him there for a moment before Merlin's hand reached up and caressed my face gently, he pulled me into a soft kiss and I realised how much I enjoyed this. I didn't need the release in the way I thought I did, I just needed Merlin's presence and everything would be okay. Merlin's hands had a daintiness about them that made me shiver at the feather light touches he was using. I let my mouth kiss him without another thought and focused my attention on what his hands were doing. I didn't have to look at them to mark their progress. They started on my neck, rubbing small circles into my skin to make me feel like a pile of jelly, then they moved up into my hair, running through it and tugging at it slightly and keeping my level of arousal just high enough to still want to go the full way. After several moments of this, they slid down and came to rest in the small of my back, where he pulled me closer and I tightened my arms around him in response leaving absolutely no room between us. I wondered if he knew what his arms were doing or if they were moving of their accord as mine were. I took a moment to realise my hands were planted on either side on Merlin's face as our kiss grew more passionate. Merlin's hands moved around my hips and slipped under my shirt, trailing light patterns across my stomach. Suddenly, Merlin gave my shirt a rough tug and the fabric separated us for a few seconds before Merlin pulled it off my head and flung it across the room. Our bare chests collided again as we resumed our heated kiss. My brain was in a mess, I was glad to be so comfortable around Merlin that I didn't need to think about what I was doing. I loved how he made me feel. I knew we were both getting frantic so I decided to speed things along a bit.

"Shoes." I mumbled into Merlin's mouth. He gave a low growl.

"I know." He replied, he pulled away from me and pulled his shoes off in what must have been record time. I stared at him in bemusement but the look flaring in his brooding eyes made me hurry myself. I damned my boots but managed to yank them off and sweep Merlin off his feet and into my arms, replacing my lips on his immediately. Merlin's arms wound back around my neck as I carried him over to my bed. I laid him down, climbed onto him and took a moment to lean down and look into his love-filled eyes.

"I'm ready…" He whispered, and though I found this statement a little weird, it gave me the perspective I needed to just take a different approach and try things a little differently…

I looked down at Merlin's sleepy form by my side and smiled dopily, I was pleased he had liked my idea, more than liked it from the state he had appeared to be in.

"I love you, you know." I said. Merlin turned slightly and his smile was heart-stopping.

"I never doubted it for a minute…" He replied, and not for the first time I saw that utter sadness wash over his eyes and mar his perfect face, and I wanted to know who had hurt him…

Merlin's P.O.V

I could feel Arthur's body shaking beneath my hands, it broke my heart to see him this scared, it was so rare. I felt like if he got this scared, then I should be a pool of jelly on the floor, but maybe I wasn't because I didn't know what was coming and Arthur did. Arthur got off the horse and turned to me slightly, he was obviously upset that he couldn't help me down but I just smiled back, trying to show him my support but I couldn't tell if it had worked or not. Uther was standing at the top of the stairs, he looked more intimidating than I had ever seen him and I finally got a glimpse of what we were in for, I felt sweat form on my brow and tried not to panic. I wondered how we were meant to explain anything, we hadn't even planned anything, oh weren't we clever? Uther was betraying no emotion, not even anger, and I think that was scarier than anything else. His eyes narrowed into thin slits and my heart skipped a beat.

"Hall, now. Both of you." His tone was as devoid of emotion as his face, I tried to keep my own face straight. And then he was gone, back inside. I waited for Arthur to move so I could follow but he didn't. He stood shock still and I watched sweat roll down his face in almost slow motion. I noticed now that the reason everything was so quiet was because it wasn't just Arthur frozen, it was all of us. I assumed things would be worse it we left Uther waiting, letting his rage build so I moved forward and put a hand to Arthur's arm. The villagers relaxed en masse and Arthur looked at me and the way he walked in, so self-assured, made me pray that he kept his cool…

Uther was barely moving, even his eyes were fixed on Arthur's somehow small form with a sort of rigidity although the rage within them danced like a fire. I watched Arthur take the brunt of the fury and wondered when it would be my turn.

"What, on God's earth, did you think you were doing? I'll ask you one more time Arthur, why did you leave? Do you not like living here in Camelot? Do you not _like_ having everything done for you? Do you not _appreciate_ what everyone does for you?" I wanted to intervene, to support him but I knew I couldn't, I knew what Uther's tactic was and I also knew from Arthur's stance that it was working.

"No, I-" Arthur's voice was unbelievably quiet.

"DO NOT EVEN TRY TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF ARTHUR PENDRAGON!" I waited for Arthur to blow up at the contradiction but he didn't and I breathed a sigh of relief, "Do you have any, ANY, idea just how worried we were? You should have SEEN the look on Morgana's face when she brought the note to me the morning you had left! She was in TEARS. Your knights, no actually no, your _friends_ were completely lost without you. No-one knew if they'd ever see you again, let alone if you were safe! Were you just planning on never returning? Leave Camelot without a king? Did you even plan? You appeared to go without supplies, you look ill! On what planet did it seem like a good idea? Let alone _why_ you left, which no-one appears to know the reason for! It had better be good, or maybe it's not so good considering you've apparently come back. Why is that? Found out how difficult the unprotected world is did you? Or did you just miss the comforts of the castle?" I watched him turn to me with barely concealed fear. I began to tremble slightly. He was pointing harshly at me.

"And YOU. What exactly were you playing at? Did you encourage him? I thought you were supposed to be trusted, you are meant to take care of him. It doesn't look like you did a very good job! I bet this was all your idea wasn't it? I should have you killed." I knew I was about to cry, not for my own life but because I knew that that was the comment that would push Arthur too far and do something stupid, which he unfailingly did.

"Merlin did nothing wrong, don't you dare treat him like that." I waited with baited breath for the reaction.

"Boy, leave the room." I didn't want to go but I knew I wouldn't escape with my life if I didn't, "Be glad to have your life, LEAVE." I cringed at the shouting but bowed and left silently. I was lucky that no guards were outside as I stood against the door and could still hear every word. I was still shaking.

"You dare disobey me in front of a servant?" I didn't have a clue how Arthur was meant to reply to that, I hoped he managed to get out of this one, as this was all my fault anyway. And now Arthur was in trouble because of me. He'd never admit it though and that made me feel worse.

"I apologise father but I had to explain." Uther was not pleased with that answer clearly.

"And he hasn't got a mouth no?" Sarcasm was dripping from Uther's tone and I felt a bit angry that he would say that when he knew he hadn't let me speak.

"Well you weren't giving him a chance! You threatened him with death!" I felt as though Arthur had read my mind, it filled me with a little warmth. I wondered if Uther would blow up again.

"It was an empty threat, he knew I wouldn't have him killed for that. He is too favoured by you and Morgana." I was very surprised by this reaction, Uther had noticed? He would really spare me for his children's sake? I was so glad that I'd got so close to Arthur for so many reasons and this was just another.

"That's funny because I'm pretty certain that Merlin didn't know the threat was empty." Why couldn't Arthur just have gone with a nice easy reply?

"And why are you so intent on defending a servant?" The dreaded question. How was he supposed to reply to that? 'Oh, I'm in love with him actually'…

"Because he deserves it. Because I trust him with my life, which is wise seeing as he's saved it enough times. And because he is my friend and I respect him." I praised his cunning and couldn't help the smile that spread my face. I was touched by Arthur's public words about me.

"Then perhaps it is time you found some new friends. Now get out of my sight. Don't even think about leaving your room this evening, and take your servant with you." I wasn't angry about Uther's cruel reply as I had fully been expecting it, it still stung a little though. I scurried down the corridor to cover up my eavesdropping and leaned against the wall just in time to see the doors be thrown open by a clearly riled Arthur. He wanted a hug and I couldn't blame him, I wanted one too but my acute sense of hearing picked up the sound of footsteps and I indicated the guards walking towards us. Arthur nodded, such a cold action that it chilled my insides and he walked off, me following quietly.

I could sense just how angry Arthur was, I didn't know which bit of the argument he was most angry about, he didn't acknowledge the guard who was waiting outside his room, he just entered and flung the door shut behind me. I had to admit I was a little afraid, Arthur needed someone to vent his anger on and I was the only one here, I tried not to look too scared. Arthur looked at me for a moment before physically deflating.

"I'm sorry." He looked really ashamed and I felt instantly guilty for even thinking that he would do that, he wasn't like… I pushed Gabriel's name down yet again and went to hold Arthur in my arms. He began to cry and I didn't interrupt him because I knew he needed this, even if he wouldn't want to admit it. Once he'd stopped I tentatively put my hand to his face and was pleased when he didn't burst out crying, he just leant inwards like my horse always did when I patted his face. Although I'd never say it aloud, my horse actually reminded me of Arthur in many ways and I liked drawing comparisons between the two. I was surprised when Arthur suddenly pulled me in and kissed me forcefully and I had to fight down the familiar surge of panic that always reared up when he kissed me unexpectedly, especially this strongly. It took me several moments before I could kiss him back. When I'd adjusted, I put my arms around his neck and kissed him back with equalling force as I felt bad for not being used to this by now. Arthur abruptly pulled away and then I heard why. I stood up and moved away as Arthur punched the wall hard. I sighed internally as the rash action. He never could keep his temper. There was a loud knock and Arthur was taking several breaths, I knew his hand hurt from the slight creasing of his face. I wondered who it could be and knew it wouldn't be good, no matter who it was.

"Come in." I got a sinking feeling in my stomach as I saw that it was Morgana and Gwen. Morgana didn't beat around the bush, she went right up to Arthur and slapped him hard in the face. I watched on in shock. Only a woman could get away with that. Arthur didn't even react at all.

"You-you-you!" Gwen put a hand on her shoulder as Arthur clutched his cheek. Morgana came towards me and I flinched before she'd even touched me, DAMN her slaps hurt!

"Both of you are so STUPID!" I hoped Arthur didn't get angry at her, I knew she was only doing this because she was upset.

"Yes, thank you Morgana, we have been told." I sucked in a breath at the sarcasm, Morgana cut her eyes dangerously. I winced in preparation for the response.

"Well, in my opinion, you can't be told enough! So you will sit and listen… SIT!" She was practically shrieking, Arthur couldn't have made it clearer that he didn't want to hear this and if I was honest, I didn't either but there was no getting out of it.

"And you as well, sit down." I just did as I was told, not just because she was my superior but I knew it'd be over quicker if I did. Arthur was holding his head as if he had a headache, I wondered whether this was for show. I peered over at Gwen lurking in the shadows, I knew she was angry too but didn't want to overshadow Morgana.

"Now, I demand an explanation. Speak up, I want to know why you left. And why you decided to sneak off and not even give a proper goodbye as if we were worth nothing!" I hadn't meant to sigh but it just came out, I was getting restless.

"Really, Morgana do we have to do this now?" I cowered away at the fury raging in her eyes, it reminded me of Uther's only a little while earlier.

"Yes, _Merlin_, we DO have to do this now. We want answers." Again I wished that we'd had a pre-arranged story. This was so difficult, even more so than I'd previously anticipated. I didn't want to be hit again.

"We wanted to get away from Camelot for a while." I groaned inwardly, nice one Arthur. Morgana's eyebrows rose at the rubbish spewing from Arthur's mouth, I didn't blame her, I wouldn't have believed that either.

"If that was the case then why did you come back so soon?" He'd been caught out already, I decided I would handle this with an explanation of half-truth's.

"We, err, ran into some trouble." I could tell Morgana had not been expecting this, I was glad it caught her offguard.

"What sort of trouble?" I steadied myself and decided how best to 'explain', I didn't dare look at Arthur.

"An old," What the hell was I supposed to call that utter scum? I had no choice but to use a word that I never wanted to hear in connection with the weasel ever again, "Um, 'friend' of mine came across us and tried to blackmail us into helping him. We decided it was best to come back to escape him as we know we're safe here." Morgana's resolve crumbled and she gave me and Arthur a hug, obviously I'd played this well.

"Oh I'm sorry, are you okay?" I wanted to laugh at the typical womanly reaction, I'd never known a man to be able to switch moods so completely in such a short space of time.

"Yes, yes, we're fine and we're home now. And we'll probably get told off by lots of people over the next few days so you can stop." It appeared that Arthur was still angry, but at who I couldn't tell. Morgana looked like she was going to cry, her anger had finally given away to her real emotion.

"I'm sorry, I just missed you both so much, I thought I'd never see you again. We were all so worried." Arthur took a moment to comfort her and I was reminded again of just how close they were as siblings, even though they technically weren't related.

"I know, we're sorry too for doing that to you. It won't happen again." Morgana was finally satisfied and got back up and Gwen smiled.

"Come, my lady, let's get you back to your chambers before nightfall." Arthur sighed, apparently he hadn't known it was so late. I wanted this whole visit over and done with so I stopped watching Arthur and turned back to the women before me.

"Goodnight ladies, sleep well." I watched them leave and turned back to watch Arthur, smiling widely, "I take it I'm staying the night?" I already knew the answer of course. I knew Gaius would be wondering where I was but right now I didn't care. I'd find him in the morning.

"As if I'd let you leave." Arthur locked the door and I removed my shirt, if only to see the stunned look on his face as he turned back round, it was indeed as priceless as I'd imagined. He reminded me of a predator eyeing up his prey. I was surprised by Arthur's sudden change to a soft smile, all trace of lust gone. I wondered, in confusion, what this meant. His movements started off slow and gentle and I knew I was okay with this but it didn't take long for the kissing and the actions to get more intense and I found myself pushing the memories back one after the other. I knew where this heated kissing was going and I found myself not concentrating on what I was doing and switching to autopilot while my mind tried to focus on consciously keep me calm and remind me where I was and who I was with. I was not aware of anything that had happened until Arthur's voice broke into my thoughts, I was a little irritated that I was trying to calm myself down especially for him and he decided to distract me. I knew that there would be no escaping it now, I would have to tell him what had happened with Gabriel because it was ruining every moment I had with Arthur.

"Shoes." I growled to show my annoyance at the intrusion of my thoughts that he didn't know he'd caused.

"I know." Both pairs of shoes were off and Arthur picked me up in his arms and held me against his chest, leaning down to kiss me again and carry me to the bed. He looked down at me momentarily and to see the look in his eyes was enough for my brain to finally decipher this situation from the last. It was like the last piece slotted into the jigsaw that reminded me of why this time was so much different and why it was okay to continue. My mind cast back to mine and Arthur's first time, before Gabriel's depravity had cast a shadow over everything I knew and I remembered how it was and how it felt, how it would feel again. My heart leaped for joy.

"I'm ready…" I said, whether to myself or to Arthur I wasn't sure. Arthur gave me a soft smile and leaned down, capturing my lips in a sweet kiss, so unlike the deep ones of moments before. Arthur's hand trailed lightly down my arm, it made me shiver with delight, I closed my eyes. Arthur paused and I opened my eyes. He looked nervous, which I was slightly confused about because we had done this before, even though it was only once.

"Do you trust me?" Arthur's sudden question shocked me to say the least but I was happy to say I didn't even have to think about it.

"Of course." I said. Arthur nodded and gave me a resolute look.

"Well I want to try something, different to last time." He said. I had no clue what he was on about but he seemed to really want to do whatever it was so I nodded. He looked relieved. He climbed agilely off of me and laid by my side. Well, this certainly was different to last time, I thought for a minute that that was going to be it.

"What-"

"Shhhh… You're going to have to face away from me…" Arthur's voice was soft and soothing and I did as asked. I waited, I couldn't deny that there was a certain thrill in not being able to see what he was doing. A moment later I felt Arthur's hands on my back, rubbing slow circles from the shoulders all the way down to the waistband of my trousers. I closed my eyes but willed myself to stay awake, I didn't want to miss a moment of this sensation. Soon, the hands were replaced with his warm lips, I drew in an anticipatory breath, such a talented pair of lips on a man who was talented enough as it was. As Arthur's hands replaced themselves on the waistband of my trousers and slipped underneath, sliding them tantalisingly slowly down my legs I realised what it was that was different, besides the unusual positioning. The first time, we had been so busy in the moment that everything was rushed and every touch was over before it had even begun. Arthur was trying to amend that and let us both enjoy the moment before it was gone, who knew when we would get one again. I felt a smile cover my face at how in love I was with him, I had never noticed how completely he filled my thoughts and heart until now. I heard my trousers crash softly into something on Arthur's side of the room. I heard Arthur shuffle closer, and his bare body leaned across me, I turned slightly to look at his face as he smiled down at me with barely concealed excitement.

"Just to remind you that there _is_ a guard just outside the door love… We'll have to keep it quiet." He said, I recognised his seductive voice and bit my lip. I nodded and turned back to face the wall, my body began to quiver as I thought of what was coming next. Arthur inserted one finger and I let out a shuddering breath, the feeling was incredible, moments later, he inserted another and I let out a strangled cry which I tried to cover in Arthur's pillow. I heard him chuckle behind him.

"Moron." I said, muffled by the pillow. Arthur's mouth was at my ear.

"Don't you know it." He breathed. I didn't want to ruin the moment by getting too lustful but it couldn't help it with that voice. Arthur seemed to sense my need as he stopped his movements and gripped my hips firmly to align himself. I nearly suffocated myself, trying to dull the sound of the exulted shout that I couldn't keep in as Arthur entered me. I couldn't explain how fantastic the feeling of this was, Arthur's thrusts were so agonisingly slow and my heart was beating in such an arrhythmic pattern that I didn't know whether to be worried or not. I felt like all my nerves had been set on fire, but in the best possible way. My body screamed with desire, my body unconsciously moved backwards into Arthur and betraying my need. Arthur increased his pace as we couldn't resist the desperation any more. My breathing quickened at the feeling and I felt the build up inside of me and I released with a hissed breath, I felt Arthur's hands tighten around my hips and I heard my name bubble from his lips as he came too. It gave me an odd sense of purpose, like my life was made for that very reason. I felt the happiest I had in a long time, more than happy in fact if that was possible.

I yawned and Arthur's face appeared over the side of my body, we were both smiling stupidly.

"I love you, you know." My heart fluttered ridiculously as it always did when he said anything like that, I considered if it would always do that. I hoped it did, it proved I still loved him…

"I never doubted it for a minute…" And I hadn't, but I couldn't help but feel the unbearable urge to explain myself, not even knowing if Arthur had noticed that anything was wrong, and that thought made me sadder than any…

**A/N: ****Okay, my apologies first of all, yes I **_**did**_** appear to get a little carried away with the sex scene. Can't blame me, blame the plot cookies that I ate… So, yes, I know it was a little weird what with kind of splitting it in the middle of the points of view but the word count would've got ridiculous and it would've basically been me repeating myself otherwise. I'd love to hear what you thought though and whether you liked it or not so feel free to clickity click the click button and leave a review! And please do, because so far I haven't been given any indication that people are reading this, let alone liking it and I'm losing motivation… So please =) Loves to all my readers and reviewers!**


	4. Chapter 4

**See you on the other side - Chapter Four**

**Disclaimer: ****Ahhh, the things I would do if Merlin was mine… But it's not. =(**

Arthur's P.O.V

I awoke with a loud yawn, I looked down and smiled. Merlin was just firmly pressed against my front. I wanted to be able to see him sleeping but I wasn't about to disturb him. I tightened my arm around him and sighed. I wasn't aware just how much I had needed that sleep! I was too angry yesterday to appreciate having my home back. This was the first morning I'd ever had where I couldn't care less for getting up and going about my business. I knew however that getting up now and getting dressed in our time would indeed be better than being roused by someone and having to rush without looking suspicious. I shook Merlin lightly and he groaned straight away.

"Don't make me move! Ever." I chuckled, my sentiments exactly.

"Unfortunately reality doesn't work like that…" I said sadly, "Come on, Gaius will be wondering where you are…" Merlin's body turned to face me and he threw his head in the pillow, groaning loudly.

"He is going to be so angry…" Merlin slowly lifted his head and my stomach dropped at the evil look on his face, "Oooh, I can take you to see the dragon later!" My heart sped up slightly but I repressed the panic that rose within me.

"Yes…" I said, my teeth slightly gritted, "That sounds like fun." Merlin smirked at me and I was more than aware that he knew I was uncomfortable.

"He won't hurt you, you know. If anything he'll just shout at me…" I frowned.

"Why would he shout at you?" I asked, I had a feeling though.

"Well, obviously you're not supposed to know about the prophecy… Not yet anyway." I didn't know whether I should ask or not. But I wanted answers.

"What do you mean 'not yet'?" I liked hearing all of this, it was like being in some whole other world, a made up world where nothing made sense. What scared me is that this was what my life was, what my life had always been.

"Well, I would have told you everything eventually, but I was meant to wait until you were king first." Things began to piece together in my mind.

"Oh, because only then could I change the laws about magic in Camelot?" Merlin nodded with a grin, I could tell he was impressed by my deduction skills, I thought of something else, "But how do you know that I didn't adopt the views of my father and be completely against magic?" Merlin pondered this.

"Well, it's just written… But on a more recent level I suppose it's because everyone knows you are not the same as your father. And even if you had adopted those views, you are liberal minded enough to give magic a second chance. And hopefully you would have seen the work that I have done throughout my lifetime with my skills and get you to change your mind." I smiled at the thought of just how important Merlin was in my life, and in so many ways. I was more than certain that I could never live without him now, and I never wanted to either. This trail of thought dredged up the question that had been burning in my mind for the past few days.

"Merlin, one more question…" I had a sense that I shouldn't be asking this but I couldn't just let it lie, I had to know the truth. Merlin indicated that he was listening, "Who hurt you?" My question came out extremely quietly and I wasn't even sure he'd heard me nor knew what I meant. Merlin's eyes widened and his eyes pooled with tears, his bottom lip quivering uncontrollably. He dived into my arms and hid his face against my chest. He sobbed loudly for what seemed like an eternity. Who was it that had upset him badly? I'd kill them. I knew I shouldn't have asked, I was so stupid! It was pretty obvious that he wasn't going to talk about it if he reacted like this when I mentioned it. And now he knew that I knew, so he'd think I demanded an answer. God I was such a bloody _moron_!

"Shh… I'm sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned it." I whispered, trying to soothe him desperately but stroking his hair. I heard a sniff and a hiccough. A blotchy red face emerged in my line of vision.

"No… No, I knew I should've told you before, I just couldn't face up to what happened." I thought back to when this started and I felt a burning rage in the pit of my stomach, I had a pretty good idea of who it was already. Merlin took a steadying breath and looked me straight in the eye, I felt a rising sense of dread, "Can we, um, talk about it later? We should get going… I'll go and see Gaius, come back and work and meet you back here." I was ashamed to say that I actually felt a little relieved by this. I nodded and embraced him again.

"Of course we can. I don't want you working too hard either, you just do whatever you want okay? Do nothing if you want and then if someone comes, you can pretend to work." Merlin looked so grateful for this and let out another loud sniff.

"Thank you Arthur. Now we really need to get ready." I raised an eyebrow.

"Are you suggesting I _shouldn't_ go about official business with no clothes on?" I asked teasingly. At least it got a laugh out of Merlin. He hit me playfully.

"Just because I would appreciate it, I'm not sure everyone else would, and if they did I might get jealous… We wouldn't want that." I was intrigued by the thought of jealous Merlin but I let it slide, clambering out of bed messily. I stubbed my toe on the bedpost and clutched my foot as if I'd been stabbed.

"Damn mornings." I grumbled, looking around for clean clothes. It felt like I hadn't been in my room for so long that I didn't know where everything was but I guessed that the stress of Merlin's condition and the hard few days that had passed were just taking their toll.

"I wish I could see this every morning." Merlin said, I could tell that it was supposed to be funny but it just sounded sad.

"Me too love, me too…"

It felt like every moment was bringing us closer to being found out and that thought scared me. Not because I was afraid for my own fate, but more of being split from Merlin. In any sense, I was sure that would kill me. I turned around to see we were both dressed, I didn't want to leave him. I silently went over to unlock the door and could hear the hustle and bustle of castle life on the other side. Reality. I slowly turned to face Merlin and saw him sitting on the edge of my bed, looking slightly slumped. I walked over and put my hand under his chin.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" I felt a fluttering in my chest, which I recognised as intense worry. I knew I wouldn't function properly today anyway and this was just another reason.

"I'll be absolutely fine, now please get back to your job, you don't want Uther getting more angry." I kissed his forehead and walked over to the door, hesitating.

"I'll see you later alright?" Merlin nodded in response and he'd hunched back over even before I'd left the room, looking more broken than I had ever seen him…

I walked down the corridors feeling quite self-conscious. Everyone was staring and I wasn't sure whether it was because of my return, or the gossip that had spread surrounding my argument with my father. Gwen walked past me carrying a pile of laundry and offered me a small smile, that was the best that I got. I knew that if Merlin was here he would stop all this nonsense and just show everyone that they could treat me normally. But then I supposed I'd never been treated normally, I never would be either apart from by Merlin. I decided it was best to just act like nothing was wrong so I strode down the halls and held my head high. I reached the large oaken doors and took a deep breath, I had no idea what reception was awaiting me on the other side of the door. I realised I clearly didn't know my father that well for this to be the case. The guards on either side of the door moved to push that open and I pushed down the urge to tell them to stop. The doors swung inwards and I stood there, framed in the massive archway and looking so small in comparison. It brought back random memories of last night's argument. My father didn't even look up, I couldn't say I was surprised. I waited for instruction which he didn't give and eventually settled for a polite cough.

"I am here to return to my duties father, what is it that needs doing?" The tension in the air was palpable and I felt it's weight crushing down on me. My father raised his head in exaggerated slowness.

"Well, let's see. The more appropriate question would be what _doesn't_ need doing? Things have been piling up since you left and I had neither time nor incentive to deal with them, so I took the courtesy of drawing up a list which you can get started on in your own time, no rush." The sarcasm sliced through me like a knife and he ended his sentence with a small fake smile that made me inwardly wince. I had never thought about all the business that I did around the castle that I had left unattended. I took my seat tentatively at the opposite end of the long wooden table, as far from my father as possible. I was well aware that if there wasn't so much work to do, I would be getting shouted at again right now. I was pretty sure that my father was also aware that I had not forgiven him for how he spoke nor had I put it past me, it would probably blow up again in the near future but for now I had to ignore it and pull the (ridiculously large) list of jobs towards me. I had no idea where to start, I had to prepare for several royal visits that had been postponed from when I was gone, there were contracts and agreements aplenty to sign and there was meetings with citizens of Camelot. I looked to the dangerously teetering stack of things that needed my signature and sighed, it'd probably be easiest to do those first. I pulled a few off the top and proceeded to read through them and sign them, hoping to god that I wouldn't need to converse with my father for any reason…

My mind began to drift as I continued to sift slowly through the pile. I hoped that Merlin was okay, I had not left him in an acceptable state and I felt really guilty. The look of utter horror and disgust and sadness on his features when he thought about who caused him pain and it broke my heart but made me determined for revenge at the same time. I looked down and noticed my fist had clenched painfully around the list in my hand, my knuckles turning a sickly white and my breathing was laboured, my chest heaving visibly up and down. I unfurled my hand and slowly looked up, my father was staring at me with a raised eyebrow and an unimpressed air. He slowly took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I think you should stop now Arthur. Come back tomorrow." I looked down at the now-veined piece of parchment in front of me, the writing becoming blurred by the pressure of my hand. I nodded and stood, walking back to my chambers feeling blank and empty. I already knew that when I went in, Merlin would pretend to me that he was okay, I was prepared for that but I just wished he wouldn't do it when I could see through him so easily. He'd make himself ill. I reached the door and entered silently, slipping in unnoticed. Merlin was lying on my bed looking up at the canopy above him, his hands folded lightly across his stomach. All anger and resentment I had been feeling moments before washed away and I approached the bed, sitting on the edge casually. Merlin didn't seem surprised by my sudden entrance. He didn't even look at me, just continued to stare upwards. I laid down next to him and mirrored his actions.

"How is Gaius?" I asked lightly, we were both aware that we still putting off the subject of the talk which we would eventually have to have. Merlin sighed.

"He was angry." He said. It was my turn to sigh.

"Did he shout at you?" I kept my voice quiet, as if raising it would break the reality around us. Merlin exhaled a breath that sounded like it was supposed to be a laugh.

"A little… He was mostly silent." I understood that feeling well.

"Oh… I see." I remained quiet for a long time after that.

"I'm okay you know." Merlin's voice was so low that I could barely hear it. I had no idea whether to argue against him or not. I knew he was lying to me, and I knew he was aware that I knew too. I decided to change the subject, yet again.

"Please can we just… leave this for now?" I made sure to keep my tone firm but not aggressive. As Merlin didn't reply I took that to mean that he consented. I could still feel the pent up anger bubbling inside of me so I turned on my side to face Merlin, propping myself up on one elbow, "Come on, want to come and help me grovel the knights and get them to train?" I watched something unknown glint in Merlin's eyes and he nodded eagerly, giggling as I waggled my eyebrows at him. He rolled off the bed and began preparing my armour, he didn't seem to have forgotten where anything was. But then I supposed that was his job… Was? Is? Had anything really changed? I didn't know how easily the knights would forgive me, sure they were my friends but that probably just made it worse. I wasn't sure if I could handle another argument but at the end of the day, I still had complete control over them which I didn't have over my family, but I didn't want it to come to that. Merlin seemed to sense my distress as he came back around to the side of the bed and leant down to place a soft kiss on my lips. I kissed him back tenderly, showing that he could take comfort in me as much as I could with him. I wondered if our mutual lack of willingness to share emotion would cause problems in our relationship, I supposed in a way it already had. It wasn't for lack of trust on my part, I knew it was fear of vulnerability. I wondered what kept Merlin so closed off from people, or was it just me? I doubted that, he trusted me… Right? All the insecurities I usually tried to suppress came bubbling to the surface and before I knew what I was doing, I pulled away from Merlin's lips, my hand on the side of his face.

"You do trust me, don't you?" The narrowing of Merlin's eyes made me want to punch myself in the face. He pulled himself away from me and I immediately regretted my decision to speak. He was on the defensive.

"Have I ever given you reason to think that I don't?" He asked, he sounded more angry than hurt. I sat up, never breaking eye contact.

"No, I just-" I paused in my pleading, how was I supposed to explain myself? There was no answer.

"Just what Arthur?" I sighed in defeat, a lie it would be then.

"I just get scared that I've put my life in your hands so many times and you've never failed me, and I want to be able to know that I can do the same for you." Merlin didn't look sceptical at all, in fact his whole body went from rigid to relaxed in a split second and he came over and climbed into my lap.

"You shouldn't be thinking like that… You're my big strong knight, I know you're more than capable of keeping me safe." Merlin's hands rubbed soothing patterns on the back of my neck and I smiled lazily.

"Good, I'm glad. Perhaps we should get going so I can show just what I can do." I hadn't meant my voice to sound seductive, but it apparently had. Merlin bit his lip.

"I definitely think we should do that… Plenty of room for skill trying to avoid the knights exacting their revenge on you." I gulped as I realised he was right, it would be the perfect opportunity for them to get me back for leaving them but I put on a brave face.

"Well I won't let you down." I said with as much confidence as I could muster. Merlin gave a smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"I know you won't…"

I stood in front of my group of knights and fidgeted slightly. They were looking up at me expectantly, as if they'd gotten over the fact that I was back and were waiting for my explanation. I didn't know what to tell them.

"Okay, before we start, I want to apologise deeply for my sudden unexplained departure. It wasn't fair of me to leave without instruction or without so much as a goodbye. I realise that now, and that is why I returned. Camelot needs it's knights, but it also needs it's prince. I hope we can get along as well as we have always done and go back to normal…" I waited with bated breath with Merlin by my side for an answer. After a moment or so, Gwaine stepped forward, a friend of both mine and Merlin's. He raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, I'm sure we can go back to normal, but we're going to kick your arse first!" My closest knights all beamed up at me while the others watched on in shock at the way I was addressed. I laughed heartily.

"Oh, you're _so _on!" I was immensely glad that my father was not here to see my conduct so I sent Merlin a grin as he went for cover behind the fence and drew the sword on Gwaine. All the knights followed my example and easily paired up, sobering up as they began to fight. I flashed a smile at Gwaine before stepping forward, thrusting my sword out which he easily dodged and clattered with his own. Percival came up behind him and he swung and focused his attention on him as I watched Leon come at me out of my peripheral vision. I spun and crashed our swords together with a sharp metallic clang and smiled at his surprise. He recovered quickly and beamed at me as we fought. I twirled off to the left unexpectedly to cast an attack on an unsuspecting Elyan which he blocked with ease and was straight on the attack. I had forgotten how much fun fighting with my knights was. I took every spare opportunity to glance over and check Merlin was still watching, he always was. I hoped I wasn't being too obvious but at the same time there was a thrill in potentially being caught. I pranced around the group of knights smoothly, knocking each of them to the ground and claiming my victory, characterised by the scowls plastered over each of their faces. Leon got up and stretched with a groan.

"Okay, so maybe defeating you wasn't so easy as we originally thought. But we _will _get you Arthur, be sure of that!" He said with a shake of his fist. I smirked, glad for the normality of the exchange.

"Yeah well… We'll see." I winked and waltzed off to where Merlin was standing with an air of definite amusement.

"Very good Arthur, I'm impressed." He said with a slight laugh in his voice. I grinned back, resisting the urge to kiss him senseless.

"Well I'm glad…"

Merlin's P.O.V

My dream was interrupted (for which I was thankful) by Arthur's arms shaking me awake. I could still feel his body pressed flush against my back and I took comfort in the heat and the memories of the previous night, I never wanted to leave this moment.

"Don't make me move! Ever." Arthur just laughed at my statement, I hoped he felt the same. I kept being plagued by little insecurities, and I just wanted them to go away.

"Unfortunately reality doesn't work like that…" At least he sounded sad about it and I was pretty sure it was genuine, "Come on, Gaius will be wondering where you are…" In the bliss of last night I had completely forgotten about that, I shifted so that I was facing him and buried my head in his pillow with a groan, I was pretty sure it was going to be terrible, especially as I'd stayed the night with Arthur instead of going back to see him. I didn't want him to be upset.

"He is going to be so angry…" I chuckled internally as I thought of something to make me feel better, "Oooh, I can take you to see the dragon later!" I loved watching Arthur squirm and pretend he wasn't afraid, I sometimes wondered how different I actually was to the evil sorceror's and sorceress' out there.

"Yes…" He sounded uncomfortable and I felt a bit bad but he'd had to of met him eventually anyway, "That sounds like fun." I couldn't resist the smirk that formed on my face. I knew I had to comfort him at least a little.

"He won't hurt you, you know. If anything he'll just shout at me…" I then realised that Arthur didn't understand what I meant, from the frown I received.

"Why would he shout at you?"

"Well, obviously you're not supposed to know about the prophecy… Not yet anyway." My cryptic response was sure to elicit a further line of questioning and it did, for which I was glad because I liked having someone to talk to and explain about my magic, I would willingly answer any questions he put to me, even if it wasn't advised.

"What do you mean 'not yet'?" I wasn't surprised by him going for the obvious question.

"Well, I would have told you everything eventually, but I was meant to wait until you were king first." I waited for the next obvious question but I was surprised by what I got instead.

"Oh, because only then could I change the laws about magic in Camelot?" I beamed proudly, he was coming along already, I knew that telling him wouldn't cause problems no matter what the dragon told me, "But how do you know that I didn't adopt the views of my father and be completely against magic?" This caught me off-guard.

"Well, it's just written… But on a more recent level I suppose it's because everyone knows you are not the same as your father. And even if you had adopted those views, you are liberal minded enough to give magic a second chance. And hopefully you would have seen the work that I have done throughout my lifetime with my skills and get you to change your mind." Arthur just smiled and I wondered what it was that he was thinking about.

"Merlin, one more question…" There was an indeterminate pause which immediately created a sense of dread within me, but I couldn't back out now, "Who hurt you?" So he had noticed? I wasn't sure whether him knowing was better or worse. I'd wanted to tell him for days now but now that the moment had actually arrived I felt restricted, there was no escape. He'd noticed and he wouldn't leave me alone until I'd told him. My resolve immediately crumbled and I began crying, hiding myself away in Arthur's chest where I wished I could stay forever and forget the facts of the real world and forget what had happened to bring about this moment. I didn't want to say it out loud, not now and not ever. Saying it would make it real, I wish it wasn't real…

"Shh… I'm sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned it." This made me angry more than anything, how dare Gabriel invade on our lives so much that Arthur feels like he should go without an explanation to keep me happy? I knew it should never be like that and I'd just have to brave the truth. I lifted my head.

"No… No, I knew I should've told you before, I just couldn't face up to what happened." I prepared myself for what I was about to say and the words just died in my mouth, I couldn't face it now, not this suddenly, I could do it another time, "Can we, um, talk about it later? We should get going… I'll go and see Gaius, come back and work and meet you back here." Thankfully Arthur didn't protest, he just pulled me back into his arms, where it was safe.

"Of course we can. I don't want you working too hard either, you just do whatever you want okay? Do nothing if you want and then if someone comes, you can pretend to work." I felt guilty but very relieved all at the same time.

"Thank you Arthur. Now we really need to get ready." Arthur raised his eyebrow and I knew he was about to make me laugh, he was incredibly good at that.

"Are you suggesting I _shouldn't_ go about official business with no clothes on?" I hit him through my laughter.

"Just because I would appreciate it, I'm not sure everyone else would, and if they did I might get jealous… We wouldn't want that." I was surprised that Arthur didn't pursue that point but he got up and practically fell out of bed, hitting his foot on the bedpost as he did. I tried to repress my urge to giggle. For someone so good at fighting, he could certainly be uncoordinated, I was glad it took my mind off things for a moment though.

"Damn mornings." Arthur was looking around his room as if he was lost, it was such a depressing sight.

"I wish I could see this every morning." I wanted to mask my sadness but I knew that I had failed when Arthur replied in a dejected tone:

"Me too love, me too…"

We both got dressed quietly, I focused on savouring his presence. I felt an odd sense of finality in this moment, like once we had left the room, we could never return. Arthur unlocked the door while I sat on his bed. Arthur came over and pulled my face up so that our eyes met, the look of worry was back and I hated it.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" I thought of the punishment Arthur would get if he spent any more time here so I just lied to make it all easier.

"I'll be absolutely fine, now please get back to your job, you don't want Uther getting more angry." I felt the kiss he placed on my forehead linger and then die in an instant. I didn't want him to go, and I knew he didn't want to either.

"I'll see you later alright?" I could only nod. The door closed behind him and I immediately felt empty. As if everything that had just happened had been fake. I decided that I should just go and see Gaius before I changed my mind and chickened out. I stood up with a resolution that I didn't feel. I went to the door and opened it, nothing stopped at my sudden presence for which I was grateful. I went on my way, knowing that Gaius would be in our chambers but also slightly wishing he wouldn't.

I waited outside the door for several moments, trying to pull myself together until I was prepared enough to go in. The door opened from the inside and Gaius stood in the doorway, one eyebrow raised and his face set in an un-amused fashion.

"Ah Merlin, you're back." Gaius spoke in such a deadpan voice that his emotions towards me in that moment were clear. He turned and re-entered out chambers, leaving me to flounder just outside until I plucked up the courage to follow him. I closed the door quietly, my eyes trained on the floor. I couldn't bear to look at him, I felt a guilt so intense it was unreal. I had no idea it'd be this bad.

"I'm so sorry." I said quietly. There was a pause that seemed indefinite.

"The ironic thing is that I know how sincere you are about that, but sorry just doesn't cut this. Not even halfway. I literally can't believe you would do this. Do I get an explanation?" I couldn't bear to reply and that was answer enough, "I thought not."

"Gaius, I-"

"Don't bother. I thought you knew how important you were to Camelot, how important _Arthur_ is to Camelot. Don't think that anything you can say will make any of this better. Please Merlin, just don't mention it. Just leave it, go back to your job. I'll see you later." The disappointment saturated his tone leaving no room for any other emotion. I wanted to break down and cry but the tears wouldn't come. I turned around and left again, going back to the sanctuary of Arthur's chambers. I went straight to lay on his bed and try and fathom a way to explain to Arthur exactly what he wanted to know…

I heard Arthur come in. I had no idea how long I'd been lying here undisturbed and lost in thought. I still hadn't decided how to come out and say it and I hoped he wouldn't bring it up just yet. I made no effort to move as he sat on the bed and then laid down too. I waited for him to speak.

"How is Gaius?" I sighed, I'd sort of forgotten about that conversation already and didn't really care to be reminded.

"He was angry." Arthur mirrored my sigh, I'm sure he wasn't surprised but it was better than what he got.

"Did he shout at you?" I wanted to laugh but it failed. I couldn't even be bothered to act any more.

"A little… He was mostly silent."

"Oh… I see." The silence that followed that was crushing and I wondered why thing's had suddenly got so awkward between us, I suspected it was the unspoken wait of the upcoming conversation that we were putting off.

"I'm okay you know." I didn't know why I bothered, I knew he knew I was faking it. Otherwise what happened earlier wouldn't have happened. Things the past few days would have been so different if I was telling the truth. I realised that in my life with Arthur, I had spent more time lying to him than anything else and it made me feel disgusted with himself even if it couldn't be helped. He deserved so much better than me.

"Please can we just… leave this for now?" I couldn't bring myself to say anything. His face appeared in my peripheral vision, "Come on, want to come and help me grovel the knights and get them to train?" The surge of lust I always felt reared up and I giggled at him wiggling his eyebrows as I thought of the irony that he didn't know what I felt when I watched him fight. I got his stuff ready and I could tell by the expression on Arthur's face that he was worried about the reception he would receive by the knights. I was more than sure that they would welcome us back with open arms. I went to give him a reassuring kiss which he returned just as passionately. He pulled away much sooner than I expected and was looking at me very intently.

"You do trust me, don't you?" I moved away from him, showing my distaste for his question. It was stupid and hurtful. I couldn't believe he'd asked that after everything.

"Have I ever given you reason to think that I don't?" I was interested to know how he planned to get out of this one.

"No, I just-" I waited, giving him a chance.

"Just what Arthur?" I waited a moment longer, hearing his suffering sigh.

"I just get scared that I've put my life in your hands so many times and you've never failed me, and I want to be able to know that I can do the same for you." I wasn't expecting him to be so brutally honest and it made me feel bad for keeping him in the dark for so long. I got into his lap and locked my arms around his neck.

"You shouldn't be thinking like that… You're my big strong knight, I know you're more than capable of keeping me safe." My reassurances seemed to work.

"Good, I'm glad. Perhaps we should get going so I can show just what I can do." I chewed my bottom lip as I thought of just what exactly he would show me, and in front of the knights. I fought to keep control of myself.

"I definitely think we should do that… Plenty of room for skill trying to avoid the knights exacting their revenge on you." I had to say something to stop the lust pulsing through me and this seemed to work.

"Well I won't let you down." I gave a sad smile, I wish I could promise him the same thing. I felt like that when I got around to confessing, that is what I'd been doing.

"I know you won't…" And I knew he wouldn't, as in my eyes he couldn't.

Arthur was floundering fantastically, it was almost funny. The knights were watching him, not wanting to disrespect him but clearing suppressing smiles at the same time.

"Okay, before we start, I want to apologise deeply for my sudden unexplained departure. It wasn't fair of me to leave without instruction or without so much as a goodbye. I realise that now, and that is why I returned. Camelot needs it's knights, but it also needs it's prince. I hope we can get along as well as we have always done and go back to normal…" I watched our good friend Gwaine come forward, I always knew he'd been a forgiving and fun loving soul. I knew no-one was particularly angry. His eyebrow was raised and he was smiling.

"Oh, I'm sure we can go back to normal, but we're going to kick your arse first!" Arthur just laughed, I knew he was relieved.

"Oh, you're _so _on!" My heart fluttered uncontrollably as Arthur smiled at me and drew his sword with a flourish. He fought with such ease, it was so smooth. He was perfect to watch, in all respects but watching him fight was truly magnificent. It took only a few minutes for him to floor all the knights and stand before them, grinning broadly at his own skill. He was so modest and I laughed along with him, praising him silently. Leon stood and moaned, clearly in a little pain. I liked that Arthur had that kind of power.

"Okay, so maybe defeating you wasn't so easy as we originally thought. But we _will _get you Arthur, be sure of that!" I laughed loudly to myself, unheard by the rest of the knights, we all knew it wouldn't happen.

"Yeah well… We'll see." Arthur came to stand beside me and I wondered for a split second if he was going to kiss me, but he didn't.

"Very good Arthur, I'm impressed." I knew I probably shouldn't have inflated his ego any further but I couldn't help it, he was just too amazing.

"Well I'm glad…" And I was, for now but every moment was drawing closer to the dread conversation and we both knew it.

**A/N: ****Sorry, this one took a while to finish even though it's just a filler, but I think longer than any of the other chapters so far! I've been a little distracted lately and so I'm not sure how often updates will be but I'll try my best, I promise! I wouldn't want to let anyone down so this is why reviewing is a good idea! Let me know what I'm doing right/wrong! And I know I niggled last chapter about no reviews or anything… But it's at the point now where I will stop writing this, this will be the last chapter if people don't let me know they're reading it. I'm sorry to say that. Love to all readers, you know the drill =) By the way, as of next chapter (more so than already), it goes completely AU and the timings get mixed up in that I don't even know what season this is meant to be set in but Merlin is already the last dragon lord but the dragon isn't freed from beneath Camelot. Meh, I'm gonna pretend it was intentional and for a purpose! =D**


End file.
